I finally broke down and talked to the Mr. about all the shit we're in money, distance, my inability to trust him to take care of us etc. It was hard. I pride myself on being able to take care of me with out anyone's help, so it was tough saying that I needed him to be here or at least be there for me as much as he can even if he's all the way over in Japan.
I feel like we haven't talked for so long. I feel like I've only just now been able to let go and tell him everything. Even though I've always believed in being honest to one' partner about everything in a relationship, the distance and the sheer amount of other problems prevented me from talking to him. I always thought he might not be able to handle it somehow. Like it would only trouble him more because he's by himself, far from home. Stupid stupid stupid. I know. The worst part is that I knew all along. It turned out that honesty, as always, is the best way to go.
We finally connected after so many weeks of just mumbling hellos through skype. I finally felt a crack in my armor. A trickle of feelings I thought I no longer had in me. Do you remember the bit about how the frost melted and winter crept away from Narnia? It felt just like that.
I think we're on the right path.