I don't like asking for help. That's one of my bad habits. I like to act like things don't bother me when they do. I sometimes say I'm ok when I'm not. Maybe it's because I was brought up to not cause a stink, to smile and say 'It's alright, I'm ok!' Rather than get everyone troubled over something. I could actually feel myself snapping shut when someone asks me how I am during a rough patch in my life. I hate telling people I'm struggling. But I have a feeling that I should train myself out of this habit sooner or later. So, I'm going to try to be as honest as possible on this blog. At least get it out somewhere for a start, then maybe I can apply it to real life.
So here goes:
- Remember when I gave birth to Mari? Well my birth experience was not perfect, it did not go as I expected, but it wasn't the end of the world either. But the truth is, I'm more upset over it then I've been letting on. Yeah, she's out and healthy and THANK THE HEAVENS for that, still some parts of the whole experience left a bad bad taste in my mouth. First off, I feel like the doctors could not or would not give me the support I needed to deliver normally. I feel like they were all pushing for a C/S. Three doctors saying the same thing. Shaving me and sticking an IV in me as soon as I walked in to the delivery unit was not so nice either. Not to mention that NO FOOD thing. I feel like if they'd let me have food then maybe I would have had the strength to keep pushing. The thing was I've never done this before, I don't know what would be dangerous what would put Mari in danger or me in danger. None of the doctors there were willing to support my choice to give birth naturally and as a first time mom, that's some pretty high odds stacked against you getting it done your way. I don't know why I'm re-thinking the whole thing, it's just that I've had this nagging little thought in the back of my head since the delivery and if I don't voice it I don't know when, if, it will ever go away. I keep justifying it, thinking that the people at the hospital were so nice to me the whole time I was there. But the thing is, they would be nice to you wouldn't they? You just payed them to cut your stomache open. Meh. The incision still hurts from time to time, less now than before. But still. It kinda stings.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
This is where pinns hang out.
places that keep me amused
About Me
- pinngurl
- Most days it's just me, a pair of knitting needles and a whole lot of yarn.
4 comments:
Hi!
I wanted to do the natural childbirth midwife at home thing and it didn't work that way at all.
I completely understand what you are saying. For me, other than the disappointment of not completing this thing we are told all women should be able to do naturally. For me, I felt like, I was in this very sensitive fragile place while I was labor, that it was this very amazing thing that I was going through and they were not being sensitive or aware or accommodating to that at all. They seemed like I was, I dunno, wasting their time, until I went into the surgery room.
I just want you to know that you aren't the only one who had this happen to them and hopefully things are changing to be more respectful of laboring women. I hope.
Love and Laughter,
Amy aka Sagepixie from Ravelry
Big hugs to you for this - I just wandered over here via Knitty and your fab tabi socks, and had to comment. I think every hospital is so different in it's childbirth practise and even different doctors in the same hospital vary hugely.
But there's no such thing as a proper or normal birth - I've got four children and every birth has been different. See if you can find someone to talk it all through with as you need to get your head around it before you contemplate having another one (and you will!). Have you ever seen any of Hathor's cartoons?
Your little girl is just gorgeous. She has the most beautiful eyes :)
One in three American women will deliver by c-section. There is no way all of these are necessary- but when it's you, in the heat of labour, and you're exhausted and these experts are telling you you're not doing it well enough... well, it's hard to stand up. It does leave a bitter taste, but please don't blame yourself. They don't give prizes for natural births. Even my natural birth didn't meet all my labour fantasies. You have your health and your uber cute baby.
酒店經紀PRETTY GIRL 台北酒店經紀人 ,酒店經紀 酒店兼差PRETTY GIRL酒店公關 酒店小姐 彩色爆米花酒店兼職,酒店工作 彩色爆米花禮服店, 酒店上班,酒店工作 PRETTY GIRL酒店喝酒酒店上班 彩色爆米花台北酒店酒店小姐 PRETTY GIRL酒店上班酒店打工PRETTY GIRL酒店打工酒店經紀 彩色爆米花酒店兼差,酒店,
Post a Comment